Boh nekríva (Dr.House)

23. března 2011 v 15:07 | NoBoDy |  Žijem
Je paradoxom, že teraz, keď mám o čom písať, jednoducho nechcem. Nechcem rozoberať rodinné problémy ani s kamoškami, ani na blogu. Možno som trochu paranoidná a bojím sa, že keby som napísala, že sa pomaličky dávame dokopy a je to na relatívne dobrej ceste, tak by sa to všetko zmenilo v niečo zlé. Preto nič také ani tomu podobné nenapíšem. Udialo sa však toho mnoho premnoho a ja len ďakujem (bohu? ľuďom?), že existujú veci ako knihy, hudba a filmy, pretože dokážu aspoň z časti vyplniť ticho a odviesť na chvíľu pozornosť od ničivých (priam deštruktívnych) myšlienok.

Budeme sa sťahovať a ja mám pocit, že sa uzatvára jedna kapitola môho života alebo možno je to celá jedna kniha - prvá časť akejsi ságy. A ja sa neviem dočkať, kedy budem konečne na poslednej strane.

Do nového života by som mohla vkročiť s predsavzatiami, no zo skúseností viem, že tie nie sú nič platné a skôr sú len ďalšou hrozbou a nútením. Takže nie, nechcem žiadne predsavzatia, veď život sa aj bez toho drasticky zmení. Zo svojej izby si (okrem nábytku, postele, šiat a školských potrieb) zoberiem len knihy a samozrejme, svojho obrovského plyšového čierneho maca (pretože som ho dostala na prvé narodeniny a rastie a dospieva spolu so mnou). Nič iné nebudem potrebovať, žiadne obrazy zo stien, žiadne sošky, sviečky ani iné čačky, pretože k nim nemám vzťah, mám len preto, lebo sa zmestili do izby, tak prečo ich vyhadzovať? Beztak by mi bolo ľúto zlikvidovať ich. Je zvláštne, že človek keď je nútený, tak si uvedomí, že k životu toho nepotrebuje veľa a väčšina vecí, ktorými sa po celý čas obklopoval, je vlastne celkom zbytočnou haraburdou.

Myslíte si, že sa ľudia tešia, keď sa sťahujú s priestranného domu na miesto, kde sa budú musieť uspokojiť s dvomi maličkými izbami a len s tými najpotrebnejšími vecami? Väčšinou asi nie. Ja sa však naozaj nefalšovane teším, lebo niekedy je dusno v dome spôsobené nie nedostatočným vetraním, ale samotným podnebím a vtedy nepomôže otvorenie okna, ale odchod do chladnejších krajín...

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